24 Hours’ Life Left, Say it all, Nothing to Lose

17 April 2020

It is a cloudy envelope surrounding the mountains – and my mind. One thought: Ganges is not far away. Led to reflections about the often-used simile between rivers and life.

Conclusion: The best you can do in the river of life is to do whatever is needed to make sure that the river can flow, that it thas the freedom to do so, to roam. The direction it takes is not something which we can control. It has its mind.

Same with life. We must live for the moment and let it flow – the bad and the good. Yesterday is written in rock; tomorrow is blowing in the wind; only now and now now counts. The answer for day to day existence is to let it flow, let it go – feel the happiness and revel in it for the moment, feel the regret and forget it……………….just feel yourself as flowing in the river of life, just as water feels going in a direction unknown to it but has an end – the ocean, from where we were germinated and to which we return immersed in river waters.

Is that what the whole story of immersing one’s ashes in the Ganges all about?

4 December 2020

Giving and Taking

I am sick and tired of giving. All my life, one precept that has guided me is to give, to contribute, to share – all my emotional and intellectual background has been based on Greek, Indian and Chinese studies. One example: I myself do not eat much, but spend hours devising menus for visiting guests.

And, now, this morning, a revelation. I am addicted to “giving” but it is not altruistic. I now realise that consciously or unconsciously, I expect a return. This is no doubt a throwback to my Chartered Accountancy upbringing – calculating costs and benefits. I am truly devastated, truly devastated that my’ giving’ has a ‘taking’ aspect to my actions. It is not surprising, therefore, that I am so often disappointed with the actions of acquaintances, friends, lovers and relatives. I now accept responsibility for my misplaced predilection to J’accuse.

Conclusion: In future, No Giving and, to preserve my principle of not being obligated to anyone in any way, No Taking.

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